3 AM So This is Now

3AM So this is Now

Ghosts of beauty and ghosts of talent

Haunt me no more

Bits and pieces of culture, fusion and fission

I long for brothers and sisters

For family

I can’t sleep

The hidden glory of the past unscathed

I wither away in foreign lands

A few measly moments here and there among sort of kin and the rest with strangers

I am tired of longing

Perhaps I should take you or break you or abandon ship

False worlds of language and pictures occupy us

We seem to long for change in a world that never stops changing

Please come and stare at this wall with me

Let us abandon all thought and mind together

Let tendencies rise and fall

Cherish order yet accommodate chaos

Youth has faded and everywhere I go there are only crossroads

The world is vast and multifaceted

What shall we do and where shall we go?

Whom should I court and how shall I ensnare them with the hook of love?

Authenticity is hard to find and hard to hold onto once found

We retreat into our forests of habit and fall prey to folly

These wretched words they stain my moments

All I am doing is cowering from silence

Slight agony is persistent but bearable

So this is now

Moonflower

Moonflower

Moon flower bright in the sun’s night light

Bloom power sprite in fun’s right might

To leap alight allure aloft oh leap across the moon

Fairy and scary and skald and skunk oh paint a tune a rune

Glowing globe smiles down on threads of a connected world

Wave-particles travel space and wires in no time

Packets are sent, encrypted, received, and deciphered

The soft folds of her petals conceal secret essences

Concealment and revelation is her cycle of slivers and circles

The body language of nature ever babbles

Tenseness of times and planning and wooing and mucky yucky work

Her curves interrupt my problem-solving trance oh Lotus Goddess

   who allures with the infinity of her petals

Gestures of offering give order and peace to the motions of the body

Can we seamlessly morph from one trance to another?

Nothing to grasp or keep in dream-like Samadhi 

All appearance is play at the moment’s interface

Moonflower Night flower Winter flower

Flower out of place and flower out of time

Moonflower uniting the realms of poets

Hidden in the facade of consensual reality

Unseen by conditioned eyes

Exquisite nectar flows, in my dreams

May we be free of clatter says the hypnagogic chatter

Moon salutation balances tire the prana container

And corpse pose balances the twilight state betwixt awareness and slumber

Then the body falls away and naturalness abides

Rahu comes to swallow yet again as the cycles of appearance ever unfold

The nodes are a much longer series of phases, seasons of the sky

The sky and time revealed secrets to the watchers

More dreams of secret towns in this ever foreign culture land

The dying peck at the dead and we hide away their corpses

I hide my way back along the gully, an unlikely deceiver

I casually converse with my would-be pursuer

Anxiety hovers

So what comes up from this mix? I wonder

I dream often of the field where the moon rises

Another place too with a deep dark river current

That is a place of gates and dams

And a hill where appeared alien ships

Dreams and memories of dreams

This is too a record of the time

Oh Moonflower you only come out at night

In the long night of winter you shine lonely as beings cave up

The illusion of the line is betrayed as an endless series of crescents,

   zigging and zagging through curved space like streams on globes with nodes and lobes

Subtleties beyond our grasp dance before us

We give chase

This is an endless song of realization, to whatever degree of refinement

It is a record of the time, of dreams, ideas, aspirations, of currents current

All swimming together in a mythic soup spiced with meter and rhyme

   and alluring alliteration

Strands dissolve and combine. Birds disappear and return. Seasons eclipse one another.

I am alone. We are all alone. Captured in bodies that we encourage to betray us.

I attempt to touch you with words. Probes of hair seeking strange knowledge.

Songs of strangers and news of the day.

Strangely I long for swirl, the whirlpool’s invincible force sucking universes away

Water seeks the lowest spot and the truth it seeks the surface

Guilt sometimes pushes it out and then it becomes worthless

Searching for a lie to tell my friends in hell

Back there in your nervous chair

You take it so easy that you just don’t care

Song words of a questing boy child. Oh how time goes on

I am still tribeless except for this small clan of disparate elements

Possibly, maybe, even probably – they all fall away without wily pestering

Availability and offering chances of glory shall lure them, yes?

We shall see

Putting out kin feelers and waiting for cha ching

Oh how I long to recognize my spirit family in others

I breathed in your presence oh Rahu of devouring

Dark moon of the full

Now to recite the words of goodness clothed in qualities

And to see the flower after and beyond the great devour

Oh how appearances deceive the mind of the unmindful

I swooped in and entered the heart of the city but courage fell silent

   in the places where each is to his own

I manage to read about the folly that that the yogi transcends

No matter as I make my way back home to be among the species in the clan

I am sitting in a room and “something” is all encompassing

Or so says the hypnopompic word machine

Did we make words or did words make us?

Some fall away meaningless and impotent

Others intrigue, inspire, and incite

Players enter pictures and what becomes? Interesting at least at first but I am wary

Moon dark offers to hand to old paradigms disguised as new

Good luck with that and more of the same only slightly ahead of yesterday

I wish I could find something to get behind but nothing presents itself

We are indeed Zombies, moving unfazed toward goals that call us like machines

We notice naught but our illusory goals

Time to cut off this trickling faucet of questionable questions

The Hero's Attendant

The Hero’s Attendant

What meaneth this or that?   Conversation is oral sex

There is struggle and seeking of the unruly blissful whirlwind of transformation

Dark night and dark green evergreen tree stretches to the sky

Then lies down ill in a bed

Gnomish dark-haired woman is the spirit of the tree

Seeking the hive I find it exposed and on fire but inside

First inside a van full of books, then inside an old and large store

Yet still aflame – what of the hivemates?

Dreams, thoughts, desires, and all else gather here on the pallet

   without too much or too little structure

The meaning balances with the flow,

   pattern recognition with the transfer of energy

Thoughts ride on the Wind

What is there to know?

Body, Feelings, Mind, and the Figments of Mind

Know is not the best word. We can only watch, observe, listen

Formulating these observations into models is the way of science

     but the way of meditation is to choose method over goal of method

What will become of us?

Will we transform and grow?

Will we die as confused as now?

Will we continue our charades and follies?

 

Balance. Equanamity. Impartiality. Evenness of Mind.

How can we invoke the unswayable?

We who cultivate the energy of longing

May we subtly channel it into aspiration

May this aspiration feed us and pervade our memory

May the hero of awakening be ever our companion

A Sigh to the Memory of Carefree Wanton Folly

A Sigh to the Memory of Care Free Wanton Folly

Wherever I go everyone seems a stranger

Barriers, everywhere there are barriers

For this cuts down on heartache and danger

Its disease of suspicion and we are the carriers

We hoard and guard the secrets of our folly

And hide our tender flesh behind rough armor

In the field of possibility we long to dally

But we settle to play the safe game of charmed and charmer

What I mean is this and this is it

We are weak flacid strings and ne’er tightly knit

Society has fallen into stale comfort custom

We, abiders and conformers to style and system

Even the dance of rebellion falls to the entropy of decay

For the protocol of support rarely smiles and shares momentums

For today is more of yesterday, and tomorrow more of today

And for that all beauteous dreams become phantoms

I merely complain of the lack of great fields of love and merit

I merely remain at the hands of this strange world of the human

We merely follow rules and repeat past patterns like a parrot

We merely hallow what they tell us and give conceptual noumen

To hell with your silly rules and your compliance endorsing glares!

False gesture smothers the chance for hospitable heartfelt courtesy

To hell with your rhymes and meter!

Come ye all down from your pedestals and wallow with us in the muck.

You know you want to.

Salt Strange Salt Sea Change

Salt Strange Salt Sea Change

White sizzling cloud of burning dry water flavor

Ye who preserves, protects, and slays us, piece by piece and cell by cell

The body succumbs to decay from the moment of birth

For birth initiates death

Ye maker of thirst and the cycles of polar energy

Balance of within and without

Ye have comrade ions

Component of battery-pump-motor of every little body within the Body

Ye endlessly separate and recombine changing form whether within or without

Ye hide unseen in moisture and the sea

Ye fence in mages

Ye anion generator under heat

Cleanser of parasitic bugs come to make new again

Clear the channels of sludge and debris

Ye are the Body and the keeper of the body

Ye are delicate and soothing yet dangerous and fickle

For I am not only me but “boo”

These are the bacteria that surround me and live among and within me

Ye regulate them and trim them from overpower

So I am only apparent, as one among many, dreaming that I am

Death takes us to invisible realms as the ocean takes you

But we can bring you back out with the Sun

What Sun can precipitate us?

They say there may be a Sun beyond the Sun that may be a harvester of souls

But no one Knows.

We paint pictures of unknown lands

And confound memory with imagination

Reality becomes lost in wandering moments

The sea may become trapped by earth and fill as its boundaries erode

Then the salt desert may be born as the sea dies

For ye are in the sea but is the sea in you?

May ye be medicinal for the dosage makes the poison

May we not crave to drink the ocean

For such fools are doomed to fail

What Shall I Name Ye My Dear?

What Shall I Name Ye My Dear?

Glistening tear of sorrow

As today gives way to tomorrow

Quiet comfort of life on an autumn night

Dissolves in a future that forgets

We are bones

Bones for our children

Patterns tonic and toxic seduce us with promises of glory

Can I sway your one track girl minds beyond the norm you have found?

Slogans and sayings fill me with nausea and swaying

To pass on the dawn of view with such spew makes me wonder

We worship the elegance of eloquence that clothes essence

This is our lore, that we devour with such gore

We are the whore, the seeker of experience

We long to touch and fuck knowing

We reach ahead and behind and try to bring to here that which we hold dear

But good golly this is folly for Now is our cow to milk

Aye that I could skip across the fabric of space-time to dance with ye

   who dares to play with this charged and shimmering glee

Ha! I abscond with your complacency of rank

For I play the fool demon, the bitter trickster who sets the world a-spinning

Jump out of your skin and sin – no more

Writhe to and fro and grow, away from the dead skin cast of the past

I dare ye I dare ye – follow me to the land of the wild mad free

Awake!

Whirl whorl oh girl

And show me a good time

Bring up the ritual reality of hospitality

Let there be rest for the ever sacred guest

   and joy for the circular Kingdom of Troy

Open the gates for the wanderers who laughingly demand entry

For this is magick me dears and ‘les it stoke your fears all wise to comply and arise

   as well

Ah but it is pain and sorrow this life

Embarrassing pastimes make me hang my head and laugh in defiance

For all failure and shame is but nothing to the untainted original mind!

Native Spirit River Rock

Native Spirit River Rock
The old track is abandoned except for seekers
Some stalk prey, some stalk health,
Some stalk vision, some stalk autumn seed and store

The stream is a movie scroll that never rests, ever unraveling to distant seas

Messages and myths of long ago encampments
Signs and Symbols and the twins:
Consecration and Desecration
   and the illusory bridge between them
Be at once honored and despised
   and see that even desecration is a form of consecration

Leaves danced and chattered and shadows of leaves danced and chattered as autumn sun skimmed o'er horizons

Awareness of motion and instability and the possibility of death

Refreshing alertness. A place to guard the mind
The wide and swift river and the confining hillside
Symphonies of elements tell of the peaceful danger of the valley
Fish swim and live and die unseen
Their ancestors once fed our ancestors

Guard the door Ye watcher
Guard the door that leads to delusion
Don't let you in

Raven and Squirrel and Chipmunk and Blue Jay appear
The quilled one is hidden but manifests death yonder and offers medicine for the bundle

Each moment is important and offers itself to awareness
Listen to the body without falling prey to it's longing to be grasped

Indian Summer dazzles with color and newfound sky in the forest

Spirit Rocks underwater manifest stable whirlpools and whoosh waves

The swift yet patient river smooths them round grain by grain

Spirits haunt and there is awareness through caution

Let the Oakfall begin

Moonstream Stray Dream Nest

Moonstream Stray Dream Nest

Moonshine madness, Werewolf pain and frenzy, Bitter Desire come Rage

Compelling momentum of transformation

Outlaw wanderers of wastelands, avenger scavengers

The dog warns man and the dog warms man

Moon dog woman

She and her dog follow the moon o’er the horizon

Ocean dances for moon and moon dances for ocean,

A mirror surface reflecting moon, and ocean

Subtle body world of dreams and fantasy

Dreams of water drench the pallet

Drum trance close in to the fire as world turns to winterdark

The waves of heat distort distant trees unseen before

Smoke unfurls endlessly in the wind

The cold rain and wind contrast with the hot fire in elixir of sharp points

Fresh oakfall alights and sizzles

The hot red coals and the distant red sunset share perfect match of hue

As they are one, how can they not know one another?
They are one as well with tomorrow's full moonrise horizon glow

Fuel of earth comes and goes and we prepare to yoke the sun and wind and water

We will change, the world will change

Like stones in a stream or leaves in the wind we will land somewhere for a time

Homage to the three-legged spectre: model, recipe, and helpers

Find the cure for sure for sure or laugh and see the meaning of medicine

Tend to duty tend to friend and bend and bend and bend

Now how to summon the best to the crest to manifest the mighty MEST

Brisk is the night air, Ice longs to sparkle

Cold is the way now, familiar transitions appear

Unfamiliar ones loom on various horizons

Offer fear to fearlessness and be awake

Comfort, we can only bask in it for so long

Such is the Suffering of Change

Discomfort, our agony will only last a while

Such is the Joy of Change

We are creatures of adjustment

All worldly pleasure gives way to pain

All pain is temporary

I wander, lost in the midst and worshipping flow and body incantation

We pretend away filth and hide fears and perpetuate lies

This is our habitual sociality, our customs of pretense

We endeavor to show our best face and hide the rest

May all sentient beings be happy

oh, and Fuck You as well.

Enter the Shades

Enter the Shades

As noumen retreats from the land to cozier haunts of underworld dens

And the ginger-haired oaks brush the horizon

Gates of change creak ajar as bids the wheel of time

Wand’ring spirits and the elven dead tread among us

Smile and dance in revelry and memory

Zombie army of Woden soon enough to cut the icy sky in mad hunt gales

Rudra the Howler and his team of the fierce winds dance untamed

The old and wrinkly Callieach cackles in the delight of vengeance

‘Tis the time of cloaks

As the world veils itself in darkness

The dead and darkness rise

The power of dusk embraces all in its path

Perched on points of contrast we see the nature of transition

Creatures abandon their bodies, their shells

Hearth fires summon summer’s flowing flowering moisture

   leaving yesterday crispy and lifeless

Ah the quiet. The peace of solitude

We all haunt our bodies then leave them to be heaps of stench and dust

Memories and songs glow like stars for a while then dim

Awake we sense, asleep we dream, in dreamless rest we forget time

Aware we dwell in the continuum of the unborn undead

Candlelight and shadows converse in flickering dances

Poets paint petty pictures of thought-shadows

Form gives way to substancelessness

The far sky and the far hidden earth converse through the trees

Look! There are stars in the Well!

Reflections of Reflections of Reflections confound an ungraspable reality

Sleep beckons and so perhaps our fates would mingle in dreams

In any case we all wear our cloaks of illusion but only some of us accept them as such

Good night ye night birds

Wanton Sunset

Wanton Sunset

Sunday sunset soft and silent, the air is brisk and still

Crescent moon alights as the flame leaps from the sun

The geese do honk a symphony and swirl in arcs with skill

The ever curious twilight hints of dreams and memories done

Oh life, what are you? And why do we fall in your chasms?

’Tis rare to impart knowledge to oneself, let alone companions

While alone and together we conspire and scheme to chase phantasms

While lonely colors mix with dusk as in mourning faded champions

We have all come for a visit, guests of earth for a time to dwell

Tomorrow is unknown, what it will be and whether it will come

For here in man’s realm is an elixir mixture of heaven and hell

For this is our vista vast and varied, rich in texture is our palatial slum

We and the world share elements and space and the beauty of moments ne’er fades

We and the world together and apart in body and mind and brain

The world devours us in gravity and atmosphere and in the mind’s mad cascades

While we long for peace and comfort and merely to be sane

To clarify and illuminate is to see and to know, yet peace lies beyond

Paths to happiness are strewn with hapless corpses and endless detours of delusion

With dormant seeds and hidden jewels through remembrance we bond

Then as our storms restless settle we can offer the hook and the friendly hand of inclusion

As we wonder and wish and prance and pout and shake our drunken fists

It has come to possess us this house of familiar custom comfort and view

Yet within and below is the warm and gentle glow of the moment’s soft mists

   which embrace and caress us always in a continuous homogenous brew

For you see there is no me and there is no you so all we do is imagine

Life is a moment and death is a moment fundamentally the same

And knowledge is illusion for we are presented to each coming moment a virgin

Rest in this through day and night I tell myself, for this beast cornered is hard to tame

May appearance and reality merge harmonious

Cleansing Matrix of Black

Cleansing Matrix of Black

Blot Moon Begins

So many children starve

Swathes of rainforest lost

We turn within covering our fragile faces with fur

Hekate yawns

Thresholds are still and quiet

The cricket song has faded

Baba Yaga roams with skull glow on night stroll patrol

Death beckons in the fields

Slain grain pageantry abounds

Dark moon mages wonder at next sun year’s moon work

Day and night confound one another in new contrast

The cold and the dark wax as the heat and the light wane

Illusions of good and evil pale in comparison

The moon has learned to dance, Always watching us with one face

Numbed ones seek shelter in holidays and familiar traditions

We bail the floodwaters of addiction plagues

Falling and rising, Clearing and veiling

Our day and night confound one another as well

Omens were derived from the sky by star priests who discovered science

Choices and gods floated and swam in the soups of mystery

Death and blood lived nearby

But demons are better fed than neglected

The food of attention nourishes the symbolic that sprouts from the ground of mystery

The darkness of the unknown is untainted with the illusory light of certainty

Thought is our Nemesis

We spread our mental tentacles into the fantasies of future and past

Searching for places to frolic and rest

Meanwhile pristine moments pass neglected

Unbounded presence knows the subtle wisdom lights of darkness

Our belief in Time deceives us

The weight of food and the habit of belief have solidified our seeming positions

But we philosophers must delve further in

Let us watch,

Watch what comes

And watch to not follow so that we can truly watch what comes

We watch us watch what comes so we can continue to watch

Then perhaps we will come to know or not know, for words fade beyond the gate

Dwell in the Nature of Mind

Dwell in the Nature of Mind

Buddha enslaves us

Buddha is Mind

Mind is Buddha

Look at Mind with Mind

But how can Mind look at Mind?

We follow Mind, We follow Time

Mind defines Time

We remember, We plan

We hide from Now that is in between and undefined

We adopt illusion in order to survive

Then illusion adopts us and we are subjects of the unreal

We are prisoners of past and future and all that arises from them

Rest in gaps of No Thought

Buddha is No Mind

No Mind is Buddha

Little Mind dissolves into Big Mind

Big Mind is No Mind

Buddha liberates us

Eureka! My Fellow Man You Reek

Eureka! My Fellow Man You Reek

Your confidence reeks of fear

Your pride reeks of insecurity

Your state of knowledge reeks of laziness

Your endorsements reek of gullibility

Your boycotts reek of superstition

Your comments reek of a closed mind

Your pastimes reek of the dregs of past time

Your habits reek of old castoff pastimes

Your schemes reek of cruel joke crapulence

Your positions reek of undeserved thrones

Your unfairness and bullying reek of dishonor

Your presence reeks of more of the same

Go Away oh Man of No depth

Sprout along my path no more

‘Tis you not me who weakens the herd

Your destiny is played out

The Old World is gone The New World is firmly here

Be apart of it on nature’s terms or die off

For this is merely biology of the mind

Moon Chalice Elixir

Moon Chalice Elixir

Moon Chalice Elixir

Moon Chalice Elixir

Palace of Golden Egg Heart Sun Womb Hearth

Moonglow of the nakeding of Autumn

Adorned with rings and rays and exquisite cloud garments

I ride in the approaching encroaching night wondering if what I see, hear, and feel is real

‘Tis the time of shadows and winds working and weaving their way within
'Tis the time of dancing leaves,
corpses of the fresh summer gone, playfully haunt the gates to 
   the desolate barren grey and brown of snowy silence 

We long for the comforts of full bellies and blankets and story buzz

Prince and Princess in union fill the dusk sea above the hill as mist paints the valley floor

This union is a gate, a gate-tree worm hole to anywhere

Their wane will witness the fates of the fallen,

The fallen gems that once rested in the green peace of summer

This wheel will take us to the tree, the gate, the cup, where the red and white unite

Silvery watery clear crystal rays

These are the waves of the unknown sea that calls us ever one by one
These are the subtle matter of light elves and the shimmer of bodies of light 

Perhaps our fierce gaze of attention can see it coming and be aware of the journey

Planes once only imagined become possible amidst our confusion and expectation

How well then will have fear and hope served us?

They cloud our kindness chance as thick veils

Better to wear untargeted the thin flowing garments of awakened friendliness

To stand cheerfully aware at the bow of the ship ready to aid the unfortunate blind

Dawn and dusk hide the stars

The Moon Lord ever in union with the Lady of Light

They dwell here alone in the Sky of Dawn and Dusk

Only later come their children the stars

Lotus Muck feeds the food of the gods

Moon Glow extracts the essence

And swoon and stumble even the gods in their immortal attitudes

The Middle Way is neutral and without affiliation.

Balance without partiality and preference

Only Love has Meaning

All else is the confusion of chasing the happiness we strangely crave

Writhing serpent dance of ecstasy stretches o’er the heavens adorning the center of night

Tossing and turning to and fro in pain and joy are we

Ever waxing and waning between wanting and not-wanting

Our Nemesis, our Goddess of Change, Painful Justice, Our Maat of Truth

She longs to embrace us and break us,

   of our bonds of habit-fear and habit-hope, of yes and no, of attraction and repulsion

Whatever happens happens